I guess the Irish really are lucky
by Viola Darcy Cullen
Summary: Bella and Edward don't care for each other but one St. Patricks day could change everything. will eventually be a full stroy. READ AND REVIEW! :


**AN: hello lovelies! So this is my attempt at a theme fic. Eventually it will be a longer story with a few changes here and there! So, here we go!**

_Ah 's day! One of my absolute favorite days of the year. Unfortunately my good-for-nothing best friend and her sex kitten boyfriend are going out leaving me alone. Oh well. I don't mind drinking alone. It's not pathetic. Is it? Ok it is but I like drinking especially on the one day of the year that people expect you to be a drunken mess. So, I, Isabella Swan, don't give a flying fuck that I will be at home tonight drinking myself into oblivion… alone. Ugh… Fuck my life._

"Bella! Get your ass down here!" Alice, My best friend. The gin to my juice, if you will, screamed, breaking me from my reverie.

"What's up buttercup?" I asked bouncing down the steps

"What are your plans for tonight?" she inquired knowing exactly what my plans were.

"Drinking, drinking and drinking a little bit more. Why?" I answered, narrowing my eyes at her.

"Well…" Dammit she's going to ask me for something.

"Out with it, pixie." I huffed

"My brother is coming in town tonight and Jaz and I already told Rose that we would go to their party tonight, and, well, I was wondering if you would pick him up?" Ah, yes. The couples party that my stupid ass brother, Emmet, and his girlfriend, Rosalie, who also happened to be Jasper's, Alice's boyfriend's, sister, are throwing. Small world isn't it. It's really cute when you're the one being left out of everything because you don't have a penis to call your own. Not literally but you know what I mean. Then it dawned on me.

"Wait a minuet. Your brother Edward?" she nodded "No. Absolutely not. You know Eddie-poo and I don't get along. Don't make me go through that hell on one of my favorite days of the year. Even if my best friend is abandoning me for the hot blonde." That might have been a little below the belt but fuck if I care. She gave me a menacing look but then decided that pleading would be a better plan.

"Please Bella! Do it for me and Jasper! It's our first anniversary as an official couple! And I already talked to Edward and he is fine with the situation." She whined

"Oh really?" I said incredulously "that's exactly what the ginger said?"

"Well… his exact words were I'll put up with the scorpion woman for you sis."

"I TOLD YOU!"

"DAMMIT BELLA! He's not that bad! I just need you to do this one little thing for me." She said batting her eyes.

"You conniving little sprite. Fine, but I won't be nice."

"AAAHHHH!! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU!" she squealed pulling me into a vice-like hug before bounding up the steps.

"YOU OWE ME!" I yelled after her. FUCK. Now I'm stick with the biggest asshole on God's green earth. This is going to be hell. And if it weren't for Alice practically forcing me to pull my nose out of whatever book I was reading at the moment and be a human being I would have to her and her brother to shove it. But since she is the closest thing to a sister I have and I love her I'll do this for her. But I won't like it. Even if said brother is hot as a mother fucker. Too bad he's also an arrogant, womanizing, douche bag, who constantly gloats about the stupid women he fucked, the amount of money he makes pumping up tit and sucking out fat, and the size of his penis… BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Who gives a fuck?

_I do._ Said a small voice in the back of my mind.

_SHUT UP! I don't care if he is fucking Adonis he'll only break your heart and leave you to pick up the pieces. You've done a fantastic job staying away from that fine ass of his for the past 10 years. Don't fuck it up. Just make sure to have extra panties at the ready._ Countered a much stronger and louder voice. And the sad thing is that even though I hate everything he is and stands for, I would still rip my panties off at a moments notice if he wanted me to.

This is going to be a long night.

EPOV

Godammit! I can't believe Al got me to agree to be with that bitch. She's so hostile towards me and I don't understand why!

_Yes you do. You're a dick to her_

Damn subconscious_._

"Now boarding flight 118 to Seattle Washington." The flight attendant announced. She had been eye-fucking me for the past 20 minuets. Hmmm…maybe I could stock up on mile high club points…that's a nice thought. Anyway, Bella's one hot piece of ass that I've wanted to get with for years.

_Is that all you wanted?_

SHUT THE FUCK UP SUBCONCIOUS! Yes I just want to fuck her! And now, between one of her favorite holidays, St. Patty's day, and her affinity for hard liquor, tonight is going to be the night.

Bpov

"He'll be here in an hour, okay Bella?" Alice chimed getting ready for her hot date. She better get some tonight so at least one of us can have some fun. The closer the time gets to his arrival the harder the butterflies crash into the sides of my stomach.

"I understand. Now get the hell out of here and go fuck that sexy boyfriend of yours!" I said with a sly grin. She rolled her eyes.

"What? Jasper is a babe!"

"Aw! Thanks Bell! It's nice to know I'm coveted." Said Jasper, the babe himself. I swear, if Alice hadn't seen him first and wasn't my best friend, Jazzy and would be doing the nasty all the time.

"No problem, sugar lumps!" I smirked as I popped his delightfully tight ass, making him jump… haha!

"Alright, enough. The only person that can touch his ass is me… unless were all naked." Alice said. Jasper and my mouth dropped to the floor. Alice noticed our surprise and quickly tried to correct herself.

"I'm just kidding! Stop drooling and take me out!" with that she and Jaz left. He immediately started asking her questions about the possibility of a three-way. Hmmm… a three-way with Alice and jasper… I don't know. It would probably be a little awkward…

"_oh so easily your over me, gone is love it's me that ought to be moving on you're not adorable. I want something unignorable"_ sang my phone.

"Hello?"

"Stop thinking about fucking me and go pick up Edward." said Jasper with a smile in his voice.

"Shut up slut! You're not that hot. And tell Tinkerbelle I'm still deciding on my payment for this." With that I hung up. I lied. Jasper IS that hot. Not as hot as Edward but still fuckable.

Ugh. Edward.

Shit.

Oh well. I better get this over with. I hopped in my sassy VW and drove to the airport to pick up the hottest, most lickable, prick I'll never have to pleasure of fucking.

Epov

"Is there anything I can do for you before we land, Dr. Cullen?" the sexy flight attendant said, pushing her tits in my face.

"hmm, I think I'm ok for right now but hopefully you'll be on my flight home and I'm sure by that time I will defiantly need your assistance." I purred as I rubbed her forearm and hand. She shuddered and closed her heavy lidded eyes for a brief moment

"Well, we can only hope, can't we?"

She stood up and walked away. Only then did I realize I didn't catch her name. Oh fuck it, who cares? She's just a pussy with legs to me. If she's on my flight home, great. If she's not, I don't care. By that time I'll have fucked Bella Swan out of my system.

_Yeah right. You can't just "fuck" a girl like that pout of your system. Especially if that girl was your first lo…_

ENOUGH! NO MORE OUT OF YOU!

The rest of the flight was uneventful. I prepared myself for my seminar on my new technique for stretching faces, listened to some Zeppelin and slept. It's a real bitch flying from New York to Seattle.

"We will now be arriving in Seattle thank you so much for flying with Delta. Have a safe trip."

Whoop de do! Off to meet the Queen of the Damned herself.

Bpov

7:15pm Edward was supposed to be here 15 minuets ago. Where the fuck is he! The plane has landed! I bet he let everyone go ahead of him just to be a doucher and piss me off.

Right as I decided to turn around and let him walk home, a flash of bronze hair nearly paralyzed me. FUCK! Why does he have to be so goddamn attractive?!

"Bella!" he shouted and waved. Well, he's being cordial enough. But it never lasts. Never. I waved back and gave him a quick smile. He carefully walked over to me smiling his panty-dropping crooked smile the whole way. I almost had to grab on to mine to keep them from dropping on their own accord. Yeah. The smile is that powerful.

"Hello Bella. You look lovely as ever." He said, still being a gentleman.

"Thank you Edward. You also look handsome." _Understatement of the year._

And as if he planned it (which I'm sure he did) he leaned down and sucked on my earlobe and whispered,

"Did you miss me?" while landing a firm smack on my ass. I knew it. Same old douche nozzle. How I do love being right.

"Ugh. Get off of me, pervert. Was the flight attendant not enough for you?"

"Despite her efforts, I managed to save all my energy for you, sweet cheeks."

"Oh, so it was a girl this time?" I said chuckling at my charming wit all the way to my car.

"Sawn, you kill me. You and I both know you want a piece of this and it burns you up knowing other women get a taste and you don't." he said with a self-satisfied smile on his face. I stopped the car and stared directly into his eyes

"Oh yeah, Edward. I just want to tie you down, lick you all over and have my dirty way with you." I scoffed, trying to add as much contempt as I could to my statement. Unfortunately there was more truth in my words than I care to admit

epov

My God. Did she just say what I think she said? _Cool it Edward. Just because the star of your wet dreams for the past 10 yeas said she wanted to tie you down, lick you, and have not only her way with you but her __dirty__ way with you, doesn't mean she actually wants to do that. Yeah. She's just being the sarcastic bitch she usually is._ After that we didn't talk much. She'd occasionally ask a question but I could only answer in "uh-huh" and "nu-uh". My mind was somewhere else. To be exact, it was bound on some table while Bella furiously licked me. Damn her and her words. Before I knew it we were back at her house and I had a problem that Bella didn't need to know about so early in the evening.

Bpov

I knew that comment would get to him. He was fruitlessly shifting around trying to hide an extremely obvious erection and all those years of teasing about his "foot long cock" weren't too far off. The man was packing something tempting in those pants.

_Stay strong, Bella. _Said the strong voice_ he just wants sex from you. And if the opportunity presents itself and you two do have sex, show him the time of his life and send him packing. Easy as pie._

_Is it really that easy? Is sex all you want from him? Really? _Piped that small voice.

UGH! Shut up inner monologue! We walked in the house and I quickly laid down the law.

"Look Edward, I know how fond of random fucks you are, but when you invariably meet some barely legal bimbo with more air in her head than her tits, make sure to go back to her playpen rather than bringing her here. I have a long night ahead of me."

"Oh really? Planning on wearing out the batteries on your vibe?" he smirked, and right as I was about to tear him a new asshole, he stopped me, "and what makes you think I'm going out tonight? I have a very important seminar ahead of me tomorrow and while I would not oppose a good fuck, I'd rather sit here and watch you get off. By the way, other than the already established self-love, what are your plans for tonight?" the prick asked with a small smile on his face.

"First of all, I was not planning on doing that to myself." _Liar_ "if I need that sort of attention I have an extensive list of men who would love to come over and service me." _Liar._

"Ok Suuuuuure." He sassed, sarcasm dripping from every letter.

"And if you must know. My original plan before you entered the picture was drinking. A lot. Sound appealing?"

"Hell yeah! I love watching chicks drink. It's hot." I rolled my eyes. "But it's only hot when it's a legitimate drink not that fruity shit."

"Are you kidding? I only keep that around for Alice. I prefer the three musketeers: Jack Daniels, Captain Morgan, and the grey goose."

"A woman after my own heart." And with his statement a little bit of my heart melted.

Epov

This is going to be a long night. As Bella got down on her hands and knees to pull out all the required alcohol, I had to stifle a groan. A delicate, red, lace thong was peeping out of her skin tight jeans. Fuck, but I do love lace!

"Here, hold the goose and get some shot glasses down. I don't know about you but when I need to get drunk, shots are the best, least pussy way." This girl has a mouth on her and it is doing nothing for my control.

"Hey Bells. Why didn't you go to that party at your brothers?" I asked prying for answers

"Well, it was a couple's party. And since I'm not in a relationship I wasn't invited." She said as she walked out of the kitchen mumbling something that sounded a lot like "stupid motherfuckers"

The clock on her wall said 9:30pm. Still relatively early for drunken Bella to say hello but she had other ideas

"Look Edward. Either stand there like a little bitch and watch me throw back these shots or sit down and have a few for yourself." She poured one for each of us and wasted no time with hers.

I had to giver her credit. The woman could hold her liquor. Around the forth shot I started to get nosy.

"Bells? When did you first do it?"

"Do what Edward? Have sex? Last time I checked we aren't in junior high. You can say 'sex'." Sassy-mouthed woman.

"ok when did you first have sex?"

"Junior year. With Jacob Black. He was such a little puss. It was hardly in me for 10 seconds before he was asking me how I thought it was, and you know how I hate to lie. I told him I could barely feel it much less rate him on how good it felt!" she said giggling at the memory. Part of me reveled in the fact that her first time sucked because mine was a disaster.

She started asking me questions and soon we fell into an easy banter. But around the 11th shot everything changed. She put down her Disneyland shot glass and looked at me straight in the face.

"Edward?"

"Yes Bella"

"Why have we never gotten along?"

"I don't know. I've always like you and I always thought you were beautiful, but you never seemed to want to be around me." I admitted looking down at my feet

"Are you kidding me? You were the hottest boy at our school and you always had girls hanging on you! Not just regular girls, girls with big tits and big hair! And then there was me, the girl who pinned after you for the three year we were in high school together and many years after that, your little sisters best friend who could hardly be in the same room as you with out blushing! It was only after you left did I gain the courage to sass you the way I do and have been doing for the past few years. Because the truth is Edward, I've been in love with you for the past 10 years. And I know you think it's just the alcohol talking but really its not. It's me." My jaw dropped and I could barely think much less say anything sensible, so I acted on impulse. I lunged across the table and picked her up. She screamed out of surprise but when she looked in my eyes I told her exactly how I felt.

"Isabella Swan. I have been in love with you from the moment I laid eyes on you. And it's not just the alcohol talking with me either. It's me." Tears started to well up in her eyes and I kissed her as softly and tenderly as I possibly could trying to convey my love for her through my kiss. I slowly carried her up the stairs to her bedroom and gently laid her down on her bed. She sat up and started unbuttoning my shirt as I started unbuttoning her pants once we were both in our underwear I could hardly stay in control. There she was, stunning as ever in the red lacy thong and bra to match and then she did the one thing I thought I would never get to see.

She slid out of her underwear and sat at the top of her bed and spread her legs wide giving me an excellent view.

"Fuck me Edward." She whispered as her small hand headed toward her glistening folds. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest as she started to make small circle around her pink bud. I ripped my underwear off and moved her hand out of the way.

"Gladly, love, but not quite yet." I teased as I started kissing her knees and steadily working my way down to the apex of her legs. Once my lips were aligned with her sweet pussy I took one long lick from the very bottom to the top of her slit. She let out a loud moan that encouraged me to continue my work. I moved to her swollen clit and started sucking it with reckless abandon. She moaned and writhed under me and I inserted two of my finger in her wet hole increasing the moaning and writhing. After steady pumping of my fingers and constant sucking of her clit she started moaning louder and her inner walls started clenching. I moved faster and before long her walls were gripping my fingers so hard all I could think about was how good it would feel to be inside her. Once she recovered from her orgasm she rolled us over and whispered in my ear,

"Umm, Edward that was soooo good. But since you failed in fucking me I guess I'll just have to fuck you." And suddenly her wet pussy was sliding down my dick. She was so tight it felt like she was squeezing me and an unstoppable moan escaped my lips. She smiled as she started moving in an easy rhythm. Up and down. In and out. The coil in my stomach started to tighten. And her slow rhythm was killing me. I needed release.

"Faster Bella. Ride me faster baby." She complied and hissed when my hands started fondling her breasts. Soon it became too much for her and she went faster. The quickness of her bounces allowed me to hit a sweet spot within her and soon she came harder than before and as she came her inner walls clenched me harder than i thought imaginable.

"Come with me baby!" she screamed through her orgasm and her words were the final straw that broke the camels back. I was coming harder and faster than I ever had before letting her name fall from my lips just as my seed shot into her. She eventually stopped and collapsed on top of me. But not before whispering the three words I longed to hear since 10th grade.

"I love you, Edward."

"I love you too, Bella. Sleep now and we'll deal with tomorrow when it comes."

That night I slept better than I had in years and when I said we would deal with tomorrow when it comes I wasn't kidding. Unfortunately, tomorrow came with an angry pixie, and hung-over Bella. Yes, tomorrow was a day for the scrapbooks.

**I hope y'all liked it! Please review! You know you want to!**


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